Do you ever take the time to stop and look at yourself in the mirror? You are probably thinking of course I do every day when I brush my teeth, style my hair or put on my makeup. No, that is not what I am asking. I mean do you ever really stop and stare at yourself in the mirror and decide if you like or dislike the person staring back at you? Many of us do not, because we are afraid of facing ourselves. Some of you may go as far as avoiding mirrors all together because you do not like what is looking back at you.
Why is it so easy for us to point out the flaws of others, yet we get instantly defensive if someone points out a flaw of our own? Most of us have the hardest time receiving criticism but find it so easy to pass judgement on other people. So again, I ask why is it so hard for us to stop and take a long look in the mirror at ourselves?
I can tell you why because you are not happy with something internal or external about yourself. Sometimes taking that long look in the mirror means we may have to face the problems we have been avoiding, which many of us do not want to do. For most people it is hard to see the things we need to work on about ourselves. If you are one of those people who is avoiding mirrors or refuse to examine yourself in the mirror, that’s okay because I have been in your shoes.
When I was a junior in college I had everything a college girl could ever want. I was making good grades, had great roommates, was a member of a sorority, lived in an apartment overlooking the pool and loved my job babysitting in the evenings. So why did I feel so depressed? Why did I struggle to get out of bed? Why wasn’t I happy? I can tell you exactly why! I was making poor decisions and avoiding the person staring back at me in the mirror like the plague. I was not the person I wanted to be and not taking any steps in the right direction to become the person I wanted to be.
I was 20 years old and struggling to find the energy to get out of bed. My knees ached, and I was constantly making trips to the doctor for a cold here or a sore throat there. Something was wrong! What should have been one of the best times in my life was turning out to be the worst. Finally, I got fed up with feeling bad and having no energy, so I forced myself to look in the mirror and face the person I had been avoiding for months. I saw things on the exterior and interior I did not like about myself but the only person who could fix those issues was me. I didn’t like the extra weight I was carrying on the outside and I wasn’t proud of the person I was on the inside.
I had to figure out how to get healthy. Not just lose weight but healthy inside and out. This meant working on my physical and mental health. The excessive partying had to stop! The terrible diet I was consuming had to stop! I had to make some serious changes in my life to become the person I wanted to be and YES! IT WAS HARD! These changes were not easy for a 20-year-old in college. I wanted to party until 2 am and then grab late night pizza like everyone else. I wanted to hang out with friends after class rather than go for a walk. I wanted to hang out by the pool and drink margaritas rather than go to the gym and exercise. But I had to make these changes for me and I owed it to myself to follow through. It was hard at first but honestly it got easier with time because I was slowly becoming the person I wanted to be. Working hard to become the person I wanted to be was a lot easier than avoiding the person I didn’t want to be.
Yes, I still had a good time in college and yes, I still enjoyed the fun college foods but both in moderation. I choose not to drink alcohol or eat junk food on the weekdays and this was a good for more reasons than just getting healthy. The time I would have normally spent out partying I decided to spend studying and exercising. This improved both my physical appearance and my mental state of mind.
Soon after making these changes in my routine, I started to realize how good I felt and fell in love with that feeling. Before, I had so many unhealthy lifestyle habits that I didn’t realize how yucky my body felt and the effects my bad habits had on both my physical and mental health. These small changes made a huge difference in my life. I was improving my physical appearance by shedding a few pounds and creating positive energy by exercising. Eventually, my depression began to disappear because I felt a lot better on the inside and outside.
I wasn’t the person I wanted to be due to excessive partying, yucky diet habits and poor lifestyle choices. Your reasons may be completely different from mine. You may not be happy with your job but you haven’t taken the steps to find a new one. You may not like the grades you are making in school but you haven’t made the time to study more. You may not be the mom you want to be because you spend too much time at work. But you haven’t made a plan for time off either. Some of you may just want to feel more present in life but you are glued to your cellphones and spend half the day scrolling social media. Instead you may need to put your phone down and make a plan for how you can become present in your life again and stop obsessing over everyone else’s life on social media.
If you are avoiding the person starring back at you in the mirror or if you haven’t taken a good look at yourself lately, take the time to do so. You may see a few things you don’t like but you have the power to change them. Stop spending so much time observing others or comparing yourself to others. Start taking the time to observe yourself, improve yourself and start loving yourself.
Above you will see two pictures of me, one at 20 years old (left) and one at 30 years old (right). It has been a decade since I decided to make the changes I needed to become a better version of me. I can tell you I do not know the person in the picture on the left anymore, but I am in love with the person I have become on the right. This journey is far from over because there will always be something I can improve about myself to become a better version of me. If you don’t love yourself, look in the mirror and ask yourself why? Then make the adjustments you need to start your journey of becoming a better you. DO IT FOR YOU!
do it for you 
Sarah,
I am so proud of you and your journey to improve the quality of your life. It takes a lot of courage to face that version of ourselves that we see in the mirror and recognize our flaws. True, we will never be perfect (only one is and His name is Jesus). However, you took that bold step to truly see things in your life that needed to change and acted upon that. I can relate to that even at my age as I made a decision a couple of years ago to improve my overall health. No fancy diets but following a regime my doctor set up to becoming more active and eating better. I would still “cheat” by having some of my not-so-healthy snacks occassionally but in moderation. I look back on pictures from 3 years ago and compare them to now with visible differences. Most importantly, I feel better about myself by having increased energy now in my efforts to keep up with an often demanding job and two energetic grandsons. We are still a work in progress but with God’s strength and perseverance, we will reach our own level of success!!
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