As many of you already know, my husband was elected as sheriff at 27 years old and broke quite a few records with his accomplishment. This accomplishment was huge and changed our lives overnight. The big catch that a lot of people do not know is….. this was my husband’s dream, NOT MINE!
Yes, I made a lot of sacrifices to support his dream of becoming sheriff
Yes, I put parts of my life on hold to participate in his campaign
Yes, I continue to support my husband and his dreams
And HELL YES! I couldn’t be prouder of him and all his accomplishments
BUT! Being sheriff was his dream and not mine! I have my own dreams and goals that I want to achieve. I do not find self-fulfillment from my husband being sheriff because that is not what I am striving to become.
However, the journey to figuring this out was not always as black and white. When we decided to launch the campaign, I was a commercial loan auditor for a small bank, about an hour from our home in Pamlico County. Chris was a narcotics investigator in Martin County which was about an hour and a half from our home. A few weeks into the campaign a local real estate company approached me about coming to work with them to help run the office. Chris and I thought this would be a great opportunity for one of us to be closer to home and spend more time in our community. We felt it was a good idea to have more of a presence in the county we were seeking election. It was not an option for Chris to work as a law enforcement agent in Pamlico County at the time because he was running against the incumbent sheriff.
Therefore, I quit my job as a Commercial Loan Auditor to become an Office Administrative Assistant. The first few weeks were great. I was spending less time on the road, I had more time to stop in and visit with friends and family, I was learning a lot about the local real estate market and I was able to stay in tuned with the activities going on in our community. But as the days passed I found myself more and more depressed. After feeling this way for a few weeks, it finally dawned on me, my new job was convenient for everyone except me. I was unhappy and bored with the new job I had accepted. For some people this would have been a dream job. It was laid back, had a friendly office atmosphere and all my coworkers were extremely pleasant. But the truth was I needed a job that was more challenging. I like using my brain and figuring out solutions to problems. Working in an office at a desk answering phones was not the type of challenge I was looking for.
I realized I had taken the job to help Chris achieve his dream of becoming sheriff without even thinking about my dreams and how I was going to find balance between the two. It did not take long to figure out I couldn’t put my dreams on hold while helping Chris achieve his. I had to continue working towards my dreams because that’s what makes me happy. Chris needed a happy, energetic and supportive wife to help with his campaign and I deserved to be able to continue my dreams at the same time. Don’t get me wrong Chris never asked me to put my life on hold or give up my dreams. This was a decision I made to support his campaigning efforts.
Through this experience I realized I wanted to give the campaign my all but not at the expense of my own happiness. Chris needed a happy and supportive wife which meant going back to my old job, that was more challenging and in line with my own career goals. I had to find balance and continue doing the things that gave me my own sense of accomplishment. I couldn’t stay at a job that I didn’t love just to please everyone else. I HAD TO DO THIS FOR ME!
This experience may sound silly but how many of us are people pleasers and spend most of our time making others happy and forget to make ourselves happy? Most of us are so used to trying to please people that it comes naturally, and we do not even realize that’s what we are doing. I would go as far to bet that many of you reading this are guilty of similar situations.
- Maybe you are a stay at home mom and feel guilty about putting your child in daycare because you want to go back to work or work part time
- Maybe you want to go back to school but you feel guilty that it may inconvenience your spouse or family
- Maybe you are working for someone and you are ready to break away and start your own business, but you don’t want to hurt that business that gave you your first shot
Put your kids in daycare, go back to school, and start your own business! You deserve it and it is okay to do something for yourself. You cannot put your dreams on hold because you are afraid you may inconvenience someone else. You deserve to be happy and you cannot be the best you unless you are happy. You are never going to be able to please everyone else so why not at least please yourself.
“You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.”- Rachel Hollis
I challenge you to stop being a people pleaser and start doing the things that make you happy. Do the things that can make you a better you. DO IT FOR YOU!
do it for you 
Love your new blog, Sarah!!
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