Blonde curls? Eyelash extensions? Hair extensions? Red polished nails?
Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes. That just about sums it up for me. I will not apologize as these are things I love about me. I’m loud, I’m bold, never had an issue with being in the center of attention and certainly not apologetic for being what some would call “bougie” that’s just me.
Harold Bate Scholar? Masters degree? Entrepreneur? Know my worth?
Yes, yes, yes and yes. While I certainly enjoy being loud I also love putting in the work to be proud. I love a manicure as good as the next girl but I also love to write a business plan and brainstorm about ways to make the world more efficient.
I am not just a “bougie” woman with expensive taste. I’m a “bougie” woman with expensive taste that finds satisfaction in working hard towards her goals and finds joy in celebrating even the smallest accomplishments, always able to find something to give a toast to. Cheers!
In my opinion, that is where knowing your worth comes into play. Knowing your worth cannot be found in your bank account, on your paycheck, in a new fancy car. How do I know? Because I have already looked in all of these places and behind each of these assets all I found was misery.
Your worth is found in being in tuned with knowing who you are, what you stand for, what you wish to represent and staying true to all of the above. Your worth is not represented by a dollar sign or social status but rather what are you willing to fight for? What are you willing to give up in order to be the best version of you? What are you willing to give up for nothing more than staying true to yourself? It sounds simple, right? Maybe for some but for others like me it’s a daily battle and constant mind puzzle.
I’ve learned staying true to yourself is hard and we often do our best to fight that gut feeling that our true self always sends as a reminder. Sometimes you may even have that gut feeling and not know the root of the source.
I thought I was getting everything I wanted like I so often strive for. But be careful what you ask for because sometimes you just might get it all.
I got the call I had been waiting for but instead of jumping for joy like I expected, I simply sat in silence racking my brain. Should I stay? Should I go? The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Can I really just walk away from all this hard work? This life I’ve built? Will I ever be content? What’s holding me back?
My self worth was holding me back. See I know who I am, what I stand for and what I want to represent but the dream I was chasing wasn’t aligned with any of those things. The dream I was chasing was based around monetary gains, climbing the ladder, social status. All the things that make us miserable without even realizing it.
My husband said, “Sarah, I don’t understand this is what you wanted and now your upset because you got it?”
Yep, that’s right. It’s what I thought I wanted until I remembered my self worth. I remembered there’s is a power much bigger than me, I am not in control, yet I was making myself miserable trying to control my outcome. But then God stepped in and reminded me. “Trust me”, he said. “I promise you will stand on your own two feet”. “I promise my plan is much more rich than any plan you could ever create”. “I’ve got this if you will just trust me.”
I could have stayed for the paycheck, I could have stayed for the beautiful house, I could have stayed because it was comfortable, I could have stayed because it would have been a whole lot easier than leaving. But I didn’t because I knew my self worth and that my friend is not measured with dollar signs or determined by social status. It’s determined by your heart. What fills you up? What makes you feel on fire? What gets you excited? What makes you truly feel alive? If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. You only get one shot at this life. Make the most of it. Follow your heart. Listen to that gut feeling. Do It For You!
I would like to dedicate this post to my friend Mary Weingart. Thank you for reminding me of my love for writing.
do it for you 